By the time you read this, Eileen (and I) will be setting up her brand new computer. It's a swanky new dual-core machine with a sweet graphics card, lots of RAM, and like 500 GB of hard disk space. Of course, this will make me jealous that I no longer have the best computer in the apartment and make me want to buy a new one.

Eileen's old computer was the bane of my existence. It frequently blue-screened, which after a few tests I found to be caused by bad RAM. That's easy enough to fix on a normal computer, but on the crappy HP machine from 2001 that she had, accessing the RAM involved removing both CD drives, the hard disk drive, and the case fan. We did this at least 4 or 5 times due to either wanting up upgrade RAM or trying to diagnose why her computer later resumed blue-screening. Eventually the case fan died (after sounding like a jet plane for about a year), and rather than sink another cent into that atrocity I convinced her to wait it out and buy a new one for school.

So now, my computer is the low man on the totem pole. In the 4.5 years I've had it I've replaced the RAM, video card, case fan, and power supply and added a second internal hard drive, so it has aged extremely well (knock on wood), but who knows how it will react upon seeing such a gleaming new machine on the network. If it were me, I'd laugh, since the gleaming new machine will be running Vista).

MIN at CHI: One reason to not live in or near Chicago: you have to watch the Bears play every week. I don't care if they win or lose, it has to be mind-numbing to watch bad quarterbacks heaving interceptions year after year. Not to mention Rashaan Salaam. CHI

MIA at CLE: After a gutsy performance against the Pats last week, this is an obvious letdown game for the Browns. Unfortunately for the Dolphins, Cleo Lemon is involved. CLE

WAS at GB: I don't know what it is, but there's something about the Redskins that I just don't trust. Maybe it's those fans that dress like women and wear pig noses. GB

CIN at KC: All you fantasy football players lamenting Larry Johnson's performance this year, don't give up on him yet. I think Lucas and I could start at linebacker for the Bengals this week. CIN

PHI at NYJ: Are the Eagles good enough to win a road game? Are the Jets bad enough to lose a home game? I'll stick with the AFC on this one. NYJ

TEN at TB: The Bucs have a winning record? They're undefeated at home? I don't care how overrated the Titans may be, even Vince Young's typical 93 yards passing should be enough. TEN

HOU at JAX: In a week with *many* possibilities, this one is my game I don't care about of the week. JAX

STL at BAL: Seeing yet another team turn to their pathetic backup QB (Gus Frerotte is still in the league?) takes us one step closer to a Jeff George signing. BAL

CAR at AZ: Speaking of injured QBs, welcome back Kurt Warner and David Carr. AZ

NE at DAL: The comparisons of Tony Romo to Tom Brady are a bit early, don't you think? Romo throws interceptions with stunning regularity and singlehandedly lost the Cowboys a playoff game last year by fumbling a field goal hold. Brady dates supermodels, Romo dates reality show winners. Plus Romo has to play against a team with a decent secondary this week. I don't think you can say that about Brady. NE

OAK at SD: I don't buy the San Diego is back angle, not for a minute. Upset special. OAK

NO at SEA: Yes, it's definitely time to bring back the paper bags. SEA

NYG at ATL: It wouldn't surprise me if the Giants found a way to lose this one and Tom Coughlin went all Dennis Green during the postgame interview, but I can't get too excited about Byron Leftwich and no running game. NYG