Chris is a 25-year-old Software Engineer at Cerner Corporation in Kansas City, MO. He was born in Orlando, Florida, where he had the good fortune to be able to visit Disney World after school on numerous occasions and witness the filming of the final scenes of D.A.R.Y.L. His formative years were spent in East Cobb County, Georgia, home of Newt Gingrich and a bunch of folks who are still fighting the War of Northern Aggression in their hearts. At the ripe old age of 18 he set off for St. Louis to study Computer Science and Marketing as an undergraduate, and his parents promptly bolted Georgia for the sunnier pastures of Stuart, Florida, where the average resident is 83, confined to a wheelchair, and unable to operate turn signals. Four years and one inevitable dot-net collapse later, Chris abandoned his job search to pursue a Master's degree, further delaying the time when he had to grow up and allowing him to enjoy even more games of basketball. He graduated in May of 2004 after successfully beating his arch-nemeses, the Beta frat, at intramural softball. Chris enjoys music, reading, programming, and playing basketball, tennis, and softball.

At the urging of the proprietors of -273, the Festival was born in February of 2002. The initial flurry of posting, currently lost due to archiving problems, gave way to a less-frequent but hopefully higher-quality selection of funny news stories, web tidbits, prank emails, and offbeat life experiences. The page also serves as a host for my occasional forays into songwriting and recording.

In the future you can expect more of the same. I'm not a big fan of the "redesign your website every few months for no apparent reason" policy that sites such as ESPN.com have adopted and instead choose to focus on keeping you, the reader, entertained. If you want to laugh, cry, vent, or complain, just use the contact button above to shoot me an email.

In conclusion, thanks for reading, and I've logged your IP address for future sales and advertising ventures.