While some of us were on vacation last week, chillin' out max and relaxin' and so forth, others spent their holiday waking up at 3:00 AM to wait in line at Best Buy to buy something that is 50% cheaper on Newegg. This isn't news, the same idiocy happens every year, but an outlet mall in North Carolina took it even further by opening at midnight on Black Friday (the not-really-biggest shopping day of the year).

Now waking up at midnight to get mugged while waiting for a Playstation 3 is one thing, but an outlet mall? You can get Tommy Hilfiger factory seconds at 2 PM anytime, why would you line up to get them at midnight right after Thanksgiving?

Anyway, apparently there's a football game tomorrow night, even if I'm one of the only people in america who is able to watch it.

BAL at CIN: This is the Bengals' chance to really make a statement and get in the playoffs. The Ravens may be overrated on offense and slurped by all the pundits, but I'm beginning to think they actually might have the defense to back it up. BAL

I'm back in my familiar chair doing NFL picks, so maybe this will at least pull me back above Peter King.

AZ at MIN: The Minnesota Meltdown finally ends, although not for long unless the NFL gives them Arizona again next week. MIN

CAR at WAS: Note to Washington: the new guy at QB doesn't look that great either. CAR

CIN at CLE: Let's see, either the Bengals will walk all over the inferior opponent or they'll overlook them and lose. I'll save my upset special for another game. CIN

HOU at NYJ: So much for the rejuvenated Jets. Looks like their win over the Pats was more the now departed natural grass at Foxboro than their own competence. Luckily it doesn't take much competence to beat the Texans. NYJ

JAX at BUF: They're horribly inconsistent and they're on the road. Lost in their big win over the Giants was that the Jacksonville receivers were just god-awful. They're approaching Detroit Lions territory in terms of WR busts. BUF

NO at ATL: OK, I'll say it now. Maybe the Texans were right to pass over Reggie Bush. ATL

PIT at BAL: The Ravens are 8-2? I know I'm giving them more credit than they deserve, but the Steelers should be able to show some pride here and knock off the worst 8-2 team in recent memory. Upset Special. PIT

SF at STL: I'm with Lucas on this one. When you go from under the radar to chic playoff pick, you often find yourself reverting to form. Just ask the 4-1 St. Louis Rams. STL

OAK at SD: This is one game where I won't underestimate the Chargers, since they could let Tomlinson play QB and still win. SD

CHI at NE: I'll go with my heart and pick the team with the great pass rush now that their field problems are presumably in the past, especially since a competent AFC team will beat any NFC team. NE

NYG at TEN: I can't help but smile as Philip Rivers looks like a star and whiny Eli Manning, whose father engineered his draft day trade to the Giants, looks like Peyton circa 1998. NYG anyway

PHI at IND: I'd love to see them lose two in a row, but sadly the Peyton Manning Prime Time Commercialpalooza wins out here. IND

GB at SEA: Packers, you can join the Bengals and Vikings in the "teams exposed by the Pats as frauds" lounge. Enjoy your 3 game losing streak. SEA

On my way out of KC the other day I heard an ad on the radio that pretty much sums up where I live. The ad was for a car show in the large exhibition hall downtown, which is harmless enough, but the ad promoted that the event would also include a bikini contest, ultimate cage fighting, and a performance by a death-metal band. Was there not enough room for the gun and knife show?

I'm losing in the NFL picks to a pundit. I can accept losing to Lucas, and can even kind of accept losing to Brian, but a pundit? Time to rectify this situation.

MIA at DET: Normally the home team has the overwhelming advantage on Thanksgiving, but the Lions are coming off a game in Arizona while the Dolphins were at home last weekend. Even though this game is in Detroit, the Dolphins should be just a bit more rested. MIA

TB at DAL: This one is too easy. An inconsistent team coming off a hard-fought win against a superior opponent can mean only one thing: letdown game. TB

DEN at KC: The Broncos have actually been pretty good on the road this year, and at 7-3 the talk of replacing Jake the Mistake with Jay Cutler right now is just ludicrous, but the Chiefs get the slight edge at home. KC

I get to put the new iPod through its paces today as I'm flying to Rome for Tom and Katie's wedding...ha! Kidding of course; it would take much more than two nutjob celebs getting married for me to get on an international flight. Actually I'm flying to Charlotte, and here's a rundown of the good and bad of my foray into Apple-ness so far:

Good
- I'm listening to a much bigger variety of my music these days, especially singles and EPs that I would usually not carry around with me since it's not worth carrying a CD around for 2 songs.
- The clickwheel navigation thing is a fantastic innovation.
- Strong Bad Emails are even better when they're portable.

Bad
- The iTunes software is flaky and buggy and has caused my mouse to stop responding every couple of days since I installed it.
- The iPod itself is a little iffy when it's been hibernating for awhile and I try to start listening to something. I occasionally have to power it off and on before I can hear any sound.

Now on to the NFL picks. I'm sitting in an airport now, so if all of my picks are wildly incorrect it's because I'm nervous and distracted. Yeah. That's it.

ATL at BAL: It's about time for a totally arbitrary good game from Michael Vick. ATL

BUF at HOU: I'm predicting this as Lucas' GIDCAOTW. HOU

CHI at NYJ: Here's the secret to pick success: if all the pundits predict an upset, go the other way. CHI

CIN at NO: Is Marques Colston really this good or is he benefitting from double coverage on Joe Horn? NO

MIN at MIA: I bet this matchup looked pretty good at the beginning of the season when Daunte Culpepper was secretly rather than overtly injured. The Vikings and Bengals are exhibit A of why teams are still afraid to play the Patriots even if the Pats secondary more closely resembles my team at work than an NFL team. If you have a weakness, the Pats exploit it and you never recover. MIA

NE at GB: Last time these teams played I watched the game in Lucas' apartment and was frustrated by the Pats' complete inability to sack Brett Favre. The good news is, this is a road game, and the Pats have been inexplicably bad at home. By the way, if you're going to bring a fossilized QB out of retirement, why can't it be Jeff George? NE

OAK at KC: Trent Green? The Chiefs could win this game with Darrell Green at QB. KC

PIT at CLE: Your guess is as good as mine. PIT

STL at CAR: According to SI, the Panthers are winning the Super Bowl, so I'd better pick them. CAR

TEN at PHI: The Eagles are totally under the radar at this point, I have no idea what their record even is. PHI

WAS at TB: Two franchises collide that had great records last year despite being terrible and have horrible records this year while being terrible once again. TB

DET at AZ: Ugh! I used up the GIDCAOTW a little too early, I see. This can be the 4:00 edition. DET

SEA at SF: The Seahawks have looked quite bad with Seneca Wallace in there. Something is telling me their playoff chances take a serious hit this week. SF

IND at DAL: See: CHI at NYJ. IND

SD at DEN: On one hand, the overrated Broncos. On the other hand: Martyball. DEN

NYG at JAX: Swept by the Texans == no pick from me for a good long while. NYG

Not much time to finish my NFL picks this week, but first the recent revelation that St. Louis is the most dangerous city in the US. Washington University is up in arms, and St. Louis in general is nitpicking about how the statistics were compiled, but the fact of the matter is that whether it's ahead of Detroit and Camden or not, St. Louis is not very safe.

Instead of trying to worm your way down to #2 or #3, St. Louis, how about doing something about the problem. The area just north, south, and east of the Delmar Loop is awful, as is the area around Debaliviere and Central West End. And that's not even considering downtown or East St. Louis.

On to some abbreviated picks, as it's hard to even think about football after last Sunday night's debacle in Foxboro.

CLE at ATL: ATL
SD at CIN: SD
SF at DET: DET
BAL at TEN: BAL
BUF at IND: IND
KC at MIA: MIA
GB at MIN: MIN
NYJ at NE: NE
WAS at PHI: WAS
HOU at JAX: JAX
DEN at OAK: DEN
DAL at AZ: DAL
NO at PIT: PIT (Upset Special? Oh how the defending champs have fallen)
STL at SEA: STL
CHI at NYG: CHI
TB at CAR: CAR

Well, I did it Bob. I caved to your tight-t-shirt, tight-jeans-wearing, hipster agenda and bought an iPod. I felt strange doing it, but the shortcomings of the iPod can be overcome by running Rockbox when there is a port for my device, while the shortcomings of most of the other devices were inherent to their design. Rachel named her colorful iPod (nano?) "Roy G. Biv", so I think I will have to name mine "Lord Vader", as it is black, evil, and makes its parent corporation a shitload of money.

Mid-term elections are on Tuesday, and our apartment has been hit by a non-stop deluge of campaign mail, misinformation, and telephone push-polls. I'm not sure of the purpose of these polls, although I find them quite offensive. The other day we got one for Amendment 2, the amendment that supports stem cell research. The question posed to us was "do you support amendment 2, which will forever protect human cloning?" Now if you take the time to actually read the amendment (you don't even have to read it, you just have to look at bullet point 1), you would see that the amendment specifically prohibits human cloning as well as the sale of blastocysts (which would have otherwise indirectly promoted abortions).

Yet we can't escape the onrush of mail from organizations like "Missourians Against Cloning" saying that we should vote no. I have a question, are there any Missourians *for* cloning? Is there a reason the previous organization needs to exist? There is absolutely zero public support or economic impetus for human cloning. They might as well be "Missourians Against Serial Killers".

Anyway, on to the better-late-than-never NFL picks.

GB at BUF: Lucas is right, my irrational picking against Green Bay is part of the reason why I'm mired in 3rd place. This is your one chance, Lucas, to win me over. GB

MIA at CHI: Do I think the Dolphins have the defense to hold the Bears offense? Yes. Do I think the Dolphins have the offense to score even a single point? No. CHI

ATL at DET: I'm really tempted, as the Falcons are overrated, but the Martz factor swings the game back in their favor. ATL

KC at STL: The Chiefs have looked impressive lately, until you realize that all of their big wins were at home. STL

HOU at NYG: The Texans beat Jacksonville one week, then they lose to Tennessee. These are the kinds of teams that frustrate fans (and NFL pick-ers) to no end. NYG

NO at TB: I think the Saints are slightly overrated, but I also think that the Bucs are within a few lucky breaks of being 0-7. NO

DAL at WAS: Tony Romo comes back to Earth this week, but the Redskins have been a mess all season. DAL

TEN at JAX: David Garrard doesn't inspire much confidence, but the Titans are a team without direction at this point. JAX

CIN at BAL: I still can't figure out the Bengals or the Ravens. How are the Ravens 5-2 with their crappy offense? How are the Bengals only 4-3 despite their great offense? BAL

MIN at SF: I'll go out on a limb here and say that the combination of a short week and the complete rattling the Vikings got on Monday night will give the Niners an edge. SF

DEN at PIT: Oh how I'd love for the Broncos to lose again. Unfortunatley as long as the Steelers are unwilling to go with the non-injured quarterback they're doomed. DEN

CLE at SD: *shudder* SD

IND at NE: And once again, the Colts come to town heavily hyped despite having no running game and no run defense. Vinatieri scares me, but this one won't be close enough for him to be a factor. Then I'll get to spend all week reading about how Manning can't win the big game, which always makes me smile. NE

OAK at SEA: This isn't a testament to the Seahawks, this is my lack of faith that the Raiders can win 3 in a row. SEA