Awhile ago, I promised a new addition to the software page. It's been a long time coming, but it's almost here. Stay tuned...

PIT at CIN: As long as Tommy Maddox stays as far away from this game as possible, the Steelers should rebound. PIT

DET at CLE: Easily the Game I Don't Care About of the Week. Remember when the Lions were fun to watch, with Barry Sanders and Herman Moore and Scott Mitchell, and Chris Berman would call Wayne Fontes "Rasputin"? CLE (shudder)

NO at STL: Jamie Martin. That's all I need to say. NO

GB at MIN: Brett Favre has trouble in domes. I'm tempted to do it, I'm tempted, I'm tempted...I can't do it. GB

SD at PHI: Did Donovan F. McNabb get healthy during the bye week? Is Brian Westbrook the most overrated back in the NFL? How on Earth is San Diego 3-3 with that roster? SD

SF at WAS: Memo to the 49ers: Alex Smith is terrible. I do not like him in preseason, I do not like him in the regular season. I do not like him in a box. I do not like him with a fox. I don't even like him against pathetic Washington. WAS

IND at HOU: So let me get this straight. The Rams score 17 points in the first quarter against Indianapolis' "Improved Defense", then Marc Bulger gets hurt and they have to bring in the pathetic Jamie Martin. The Rams get shut down the rest of the way. How can the media still claim that the Colts have a great defense? They have played against a quality offense for all of one quarter this entire season, and in that one quarter they gave up 17 points. I hope the Patriots are even reasonably healthy for this game, as I look forward to all the dumb football columnists apologizing for overhyping the Colts D when they get carved up by Brady and Branch. IND

DAL at SEA: One of these teams is well coached. One of these teams has a good quarterback. One of these teams has receivers that hold on to the ball. One of these teams has a good running back. It would be much easier to pick this game if all of those sentences described the same team. SEA

BAL at CHI: Runner up Game I Don't Care About of the Week. CHI

BUF at OAK: Kelly Holcomb may be an upgrade over Losman, but did you see some of those wobbly passes he threw last week? Wherefore art thou, Jeff George? BUF

DEN at NYG: It's about that time of the year. NYG

TEN at AZ: I was all set to pick Arizona, but then I hear that Billy Volek is QBing the Titans. Unfortunately his favorite target Drew Bennett is hurt as well. AZ

NYJ at ATL: Vinny is old. Vick is fast. Curtis Martin is old. Warrick Dunn is fast. ATL