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 October 02, 2004 - 01:59 PM | chris
Open Season on the New TV Season

September annually signals the premieres of new TV shows, but because of the interminal baseball season, Fox doesn't start its season until November. The other networks have already trotted out this year's crop of unfunny sitcoms and poorly-conceived reality shows though, and I've caught two of them.

Listen Up

A show based on the life of PTI co-host Tony Kornheiser starring Jason Alexander, although if this show is like PTI, half of the episodes will star Dan Lebatard from the Miami Herald. Once again Alexander gets to play a neurotic, self-deprecating bald man, although like the other 80 shows he's done since Seinfeld, it just feels like he's rehashing George Costanza again. Alexander is surrounded by a wife and 2 kids, although the entire show focuses around him, the Wilbon-esque co-host character, and his daughter, and the other characters have minor or nonexistent roles. I give this one a few more weeks and then it's "on hiatus" indefinitely. Can't Costanza stick to Broadway or something?

CSI: NY

For all the bad things I say about CSI: Miami, I continue to watch the show because the crimes are usually unique even if the script is atrocious. In 2 episodes, the New York incarnation of this franchise has had boring plots, generic characters with no interesting personalities or traits, and a green, washed-out look that makes it impossible to see what's going on since everything is blurred together. From watching this show, I've learned that New York is a blurry, greenish cesspool, and they haven't even had any episodes about the Yankees yet.

Now on to the NFL picks:

OAK at HOU: Neither of these teams really inspires much confidence, but Domanick Davis had 12 yards on 10 carries against the worst run defense in the known universe last week. OAK

NYG at GB: I promised to pick against the Packers every week after their debacle 2 weeks ago, and I'll continue to do so. As long as Lucas continues to pick them every week, it'll all even out in the end right? NYG

WAS at CLE: Clinton Portis was unable to score from the 1 yard line 3 times on Monday night. Washington's defense is slightly better than Cleveland's though. And by "slightly" I mean "ridiculously". WAS

PHI at CHI: Philadelphia is so insanely overhyped right now that I really want to pick against them, but I'm not sure who's starting at quarterback for the Bears. PHI

NE at BUF: This streak is going to end sometime, but I hope it's not against an uncompetitive team after a bye week. NE

IND at JAX: Last week's absurd win was the third for Jacksonville, and they really should be 0-3 right now. This past week there have been multiple spottings of, in all seriousness, a mother and baby cougar in the parking lots at work. I take this as a sign that the Jaguars are about to get run over by a truck. IND

CIN at PIT: The Steelers are just glad to not be playing in the middle of a hurricane again. I know the NFL is supposed to play in all weather, but that was just insane. PIT

ATL at CAR: Everyone seems to want to pick the Panthers, but if I remember correctly Michael Vick 0wnZ them. ATL

NO at AZ: The Cardinals have to win sometime, and the Saints are about due for an embarassing road loss, but this just doesn't feel right. NO

DEN at TB: Oh Tampa, how far you've fallen. Something tells me this is the week they finally score some points, though. Upset Special! TB

TEN at SD: Finally Tennessee is starting to lose those games that they should lose, where in years past I'd have to see mulletted Jeff Fisher grinning like an idiot even though his team sucks. TEN

NYJ at MIA: I honestly don't think the Dolphins can win any games this year. Definitely not against the Jets. NYJ

STL at SF: The Rams are hilariously bad this year, finally showing Mike Martz to be the fraud I've always known he is. It would be delicious if they lost this game, but alas...STL

KC at BAL: And the sky is falling at Arrowhead Stadium as the blame is flying and the losses are piling up. I still fail to see why anyone is surprised here. BAL



Comments

What do you predict for NHL -- season eventually or not?

Posted by: rkc at October 2, 2004 8:37 PM

I'm not that familiar with the proceedings, but from what I've heard I'd have to say no season. Things change once the season would have started and the owners can actually see the money they're losing, though.

Posted by: Chris Hill Festival at October 3, 2004 9:00 AM