Well I can post again, as we are on our new server, but something is up with the DNS for all of the subdomains. Therefore none of you can read this. Hopefully soon I will be back in business though, and I heard a rumor that Jim might actually recover my archives sometime in the next year...

On my way driving back from Illinois last night, I saw a billboard for Harrahs Casino (the one near Dave and Busters on the Earth City Expressway). On it was a woman in front of a slot machine celebrating her apparent jackpot and the words "Penny Slots".

Slightly Overweight Older Woman: "Well, I enjoy the mind-numbingly repetitive action of playing a slot machine, but a nickel is a little too rich for me. I want a game where there is no chance of me winning any money whatsoever."

Apparently this isn't as ludicrous as it sounds, because according to this random website, "The number of low limit (tight budget) players is definitely growing and they are almost always looking for cheap entertainment, wanting to have some good fun while gambling away $20.", and the internet would never lie. Notice that it says "gambling away $20", because when the stakes are that low, you don't even care if you win or lose, so therefore you just keep dumping your worthless pennies in until you lose it all.

The next logical step from here is, of course, "never-win slots", where they don't even bother with the pretense of a measly prize. "Shove your pennies in the slot and watch the wheels spin around a few times. Nobody ever wins, but just think how cheap it is!"

The Chris Hill Festival: Where the Future is Now.

*Apologies to Jim for ripping off one of his rotating subheaders, but then again he's not here for a week so he won't even know I'm doing it for awhile. Plus his Link Bar Of Wonder is broken again and doesn't update when I post.

Last night I saw League of Extraordinary Gentlemen at my favoritest of theaters: the Esquire. Where else but the Esquire does Bad Boys II sell out 45 minutes before showtime? Where else but the Esquire are there more people wearing official NFL licensed jerseys than at an actual NFL game?

The movie got generally awful reviews all around, but I enjoyed it. When I think of movies that deserve an 18% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I think of stinkers like Spawn, the 5th Element, The Cable Guy, and most of all the Blair Witch Project. This movie was not terrible. It did not, as Blair Witch did, cause me almost walk about numerous times. I saw Blair Witch for free, and it was only 70-something minutes long, but it still felt like a waste of time and money. This movie was neither. The literary references were interesting, if a bit contrived, and Sean Connery was his typical self. You're the man now, dog.

So apparently it rained some today? I have no idea, I went into my building at 8 AM and it was cloudy, and I left at 5 PM and it was cloudy, but I was off in the land of SQL and did not experience the apparently-torrential rains.

Since the Admiral died last month, our apartment has been sadly fishless. But for the next three weeks I'm caring for Ron and his family's fish, named Larry II, while they meander through mountains and canyons in an RV. Unlike Admiral Rufus Fish VIII, there actually was a Larry I, but I aim to make sure there won't need to be a Larry III in three weeks when they return.

I would put him on the webcam so the he and his glorious bowl and Spongebob toy can be famous on the internet, but my camera won't reach that far. Plus then he'll get a big ego like the Admiral.

It looks ominous outside and I haven't even left for work yet. My office is a lot like a cruise ship or a Vegas Casino in that there are no windows or clocks (although there is also no blackjack table or free 24 hour pizzeria), so the world could be ending but as long as the apocalypse doesn't shake One Financial Center I would be blissfully unaware.

Also, for lack of a better way to get this message out while I'm at work, some of us are planning on seeing League of Extraordinary Gentlemen tonight. It's playing at the Creve Coeur 12 at 8:10, so if anyone wants to go, let me know (remove the NOSPAM before sending, obviously.

So it appears things are getting back to normal around here, although my precious thoughts of the last year and a half have temporarily disappeared into the ether. Hopefully someone will be able to recover them for me, as I fear that one of you may film and distribute Apartment 12: The Movie and represent it as your own work since I no longer have the proper proof that the idea of featuring David, michael, and I in a jump-kicking, extreme-sports cinematic blowout was my own.

But besides that, I've spent the past few weeks working my proverbial ass off for Stifel, going to the gym, and playing basketball. I've also:

-survived a visit from my parents
-gone to the city museum
-seen Reel Big Fish for the 4th time in concert and Zebrahead for the third time
-obtained another bobblehead to add to my investment portfolio:

The new one, Edgar Renteria, is already going on eBay for $25 and the auctions don't end for a few days. If I assume that it will increase in value by $25 a day ad infinitum (and I don't see why I shouldn't assume this, as anyone who collects Beanie Babies, Pokemon cards, or pogs can readily attest), so by next month or so I can cash in on my portfolio and enjoy the riches that a life of luxury has to offer. A speedboat in the parking lot and a few personal assistants should make my life a bit easier, don't you think?

This is a test post to make sure archiving and comments are working. Don't bug me if it's not working, I'm not a moron and I can easily tell if comments aren't displaying or submitting.