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 November 24, 2003 - 06:16 PM | chris
Christmastime has Come, There'll be Toys for Everyone

Since -- according to the Galleria Mall -- the "Christmas Season" began 3 weeks ago, there has been some discussion about good and bad Christmas songs. For example: Jingle Bells = Good, Jingle Bell Rock = Bad. I'd like to hear some other people's take on their favorite/least favorite Christmas (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa) carols, but first I force you to read my opinions:

The Good

Jingle Bells -- With normal, non-Batman-related lyrics
Deck the Halls -- What other song has the versatility to be transformed into an ode to arson at school by generations of children?
The Chipmunk Christmas Song -- Alvin? ALVIN!
The Smashing Pumpkins -- Christmastime
New Found Glory -- Ex-Miss
Zebrahead -- Deck the Halls [I Hate Christmas]

The Bad (Normal Christmas songs that just aren't very good)

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas -- The voice puts me to sleep faster than too much Thanksgiving turkey and the Dallas Cowboys offense
Come, Dear Children -- "Come dear children, don't be dallying, all the family now is rallying" sounds like the kids are coming in as 4th an 5th receivers in the spread offense on 3rd and long or something
Drummer Boy -- First of all it was sung at one point by the BeeGees, secondly it always bothered me that the kid was going to play the drums for newborn baby Jesus. It's hard enough to get babies to stop crying without drum solos.
Holly Jolly Christmas -- Holly is not an adjective dammit!
Jingle Bell Rock -- Where did this abomination come from?

The Ugly (Made-up carols that are just lame)

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth
Anything on the Hanson Christmas album



Comments

I've been listening to the Phil Spector Christmas album that features some of the girl bands from the 60's including the Ronettes. They mostly do classic Christmas songs, except in a "Phil Spector" sort of way. It is excellent.

Posted by: Nathan at November 24, 2003 7:15 PM

Oh, and how can I possibly forget Blue Christmas, by Elvis? It is a classic!

Posted by: Nathan at November 24, 2003 7:18 PM

Have you even HEARD the Hanson Christmas album (Snowed In)?? It's good!!

Posted by: Amy at November 24, 2003 7:21 PM

I still am pretending that no one I know, who is about to graduate from college, is a Hanson fan. Do not shatter my dreamworld!

Posted by: Chris Hill Festival at November 24, 2003 7:47 PM

I agree pretty much with your list, although I like White Christmas if it's sung well. My favorites include creative and modern instrumental reworkings of familiar carols (Charlie Brown Christmas, Manheim Steamroller, TransSiberian Orchestra), some classics (Carol of the Bells, Hallelujah chorus, Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker suite), and secular songs about hedonism and enjoying the season (Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, Let it Snow, etc.). Oh, and lots of music from classic Christmas movies (You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch, the score of the "Snowman"). And anything funny (ALVIN!!, Adam Sandler's Hannukah songs)

I don't like overly preachy songs (O Come All Ye Faithful), songs that people still sing but don't know why they're associated with the season (I Saw Three Ships, Bring a Torch Jeannette Isabella, Good King Wenceslas, Wassail Song, etc.), crappy songs (I'll add Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree and Toyland to the list), and songs about an omnipresent Santa (let's scare small children into behaving). And what could be more annoying than The Twelve Days of Christmas? I guess only The Twelve Days of Christmas sung really slowly by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (Fiiiivvveee, gooollldddeennnn riiinnnggsss!!!).

Posted by: Eileen at November 24, 2003 11:07 PM

I have absolutely no right to comment here, but what the hell...

My favorite songs from last year were Simple Plan's "Christmas List" and "Ex-Miss" by New Found Glory, but other songs that I only listen to until I get tired of them are "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses (that one gets old after, oh, five plays), "The Twelve Days AFTER Christmas" (aaaand with one single ca-a-a-artridge I shot that blasted pa-a-a-artridge...), and that song by Elton John- "Step into Christmas"? Yeah, that's the one. I start skipping past it after the second time through. My brother can't stand the CD as a whole anymore, probably the reason why he has umpteen Christmas Jazz CDs.

Absolute favorite traditional carol? The Ukranian Bell Carol. It's the most haunting melody in the world if you don't find yourself thinking about "Home Alone". Especially played by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra or Manheim Steamroller.

Posted by: Moueska at November 25, 2003 5:47 AM

You know, I've always associated "Rocking around the Christmas Tree" with "Home Alone," so it has a much different meaning to me than the rest of you, apparently. Every time I hear it I see Daniel Stern putting a nail through his foot, and that's just funny.

The Trans-Siberian Orchestra does great stuff, and "Christmas in Sarejevo" is among my favorite Christmas songs ever. But you can't ignore the South Park version of "Carol of the Bells." That's a great seasonal spoof.

As for the classical stuff, I've always liked "We Three Kings." Dunno why.

Posted by: Brian at November 25, 2003 9:56 AM

One other Christmas-song-related thing I forgot to mention is that my parents have exactly one CD of Christmas music (but many many vinyl records, they caught onto this whole "compact disc" thing a bit late) that they play over and over again every single year. On it is a dramatic reading of Twas the Night Before Christmas (accompanied by music) by Robin Williams of all people. It's so horrible I make my parents skip it every time I'm around when it's on.

Posted by: Chris Hill Festival at November 25, 2003 4:36 PM