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...Lots of Guns
For the 2nd in my series of 3 posts about guns, I once again solve the world's problems. As Nick pointed out in his comments of my post below, the assault weapons ban was not all that effective and incredibly confusing. The average American (never mind the average gun owner...) doesn't want to measure their barrel length or magazine capacity, they want to do some major fragging! So with this in mind I present....
Chris' Video Game Weapons Ban
The criteria are simple, if a particular gun is the gun you start with or pick up without killing anything in the first level of a first-person shooter, that gun is legal. Therefore, the following weapons are legal:
-fists
-swords
-pistols
If you have to kill bad guys to get a weapon, however, it is illegal. The following weapons are illegal:
-Uzis
-Shotguns
-Rocket Launchers
-Shrinking Rays
-Freezing Rays
-Lasers
-Handheld guided missile launchers
-Sticky Bombs
-Golden Guns
-Sticks of dynamite
-Flamethrowers
I think using these simple rules we can all coexist without accidentally blowing each other up. Unless Blofeld or Scaramanga show up, then all bets are off.
Comments
Hey, love the idea! I wonder what would happen if you carried this over to other games also. Like, would I be able to use a dagger but not the Master Sword, bomerang or bow and arrow? What about powerups? Would size-altering mushrooms and speedy shoes be illegal? Because I would really like a pair of speedy shoes.
Posted by: Eileen at September 17, 2004 11:27 PM
I love how you put golden guns. Reminds me of those hours I spent playing Goldeneye freshman year. Are sticky bombs the same as mines? I hated those freakin' mines.
Posted by: Amy at September 18, 2004 7:36 AM
Sticky bombs are from the mid-90's first-person shooter called "Shadow Warrior" (not to be confused with 8bit Nintendo RPG Dragon Warrior).
Posted by: Chris Hill Festival at September 18, 2004 10:32 AM
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