Ever since the opulently-named Reserve at Forest Park took over our building, there has been strange doings downstairs. The basement used to be a completely-empty room that we could see through a window from the parking lot, but lately there has been a lot of construction going on down there and they've covered the windows with cardboard or black plastic. What is this secret project they're working on? Here are the possibilities:

Office

Dave suggested that the Reserve, now sharing an office with Debaliviere, would like a workspace near the entrance to their row of buildings. It doesn't seem like a very swanky location for someplace called "The Reserve at Forest Park", but it's certainly possible.

Storage Space

It may just be wishful thinking, but perhaps they're building storage space for the tenants so that we no longer have to stuff our closets full of empty boxes. If so, they sure are taking their sweet time to put up some chain-link fencing. And why all the secrecy?

Weapon of Mass Destruction

The election is coming up fast, and Dubya had better uncover a DubyaMD in Iraq fast or else he's toast. Our government faked the moon landing, so why not cook up a weapon of our own and plant it on Iraqi soil to be "discovered" in, say, late October?

Alien Autopsy

Everyone suspects Roswell, NM as the most likely home of a crashed alien spacecraft, but that would be too obvious. The basement of Apartment 12 would be a perfect location for a secret alien autopsy, and this way if any strange alien microbes are released they can watch the residents to see how we react to the space germs.

Headquarters of Elite Crime-Fighting Force

The carjackings and armed-robberies have reached a point where no ordinary police force can stop them anymore. The only thing that can save us from becoming a cesspool is an elite team of superheroes using their super powers to clean up this town. The basement gives them a high-tech, Batcave-like headquarters and allows them to preserve their daytime alter-egos as computer programmers.

Time Machine

In order to keep rent prices down, Reserve employees can, using their knowledge of present-day sporting events, travel back in time and place winning bets. Thanks to these winnings, monthly rent will drop to $5 per month, but will rise back to current levels again to pay for time machine maintenance and to hire replacement employees when some don't return...

Giant Mousetrap

By far the most logical construction project, though, is a giant humane mousetrap. With all of the extra space downstairs there is from for a piece of cheese the size of a bowling ball and a glass casserole dish measuring 10 feet x 30 feet x 20 feet.

Posted by: Anonymous at February 17, 2004 5:42 PM