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The Hardest Post to Post
I know there are still 28 days to go in 2003, but I think I am safe in proclaiming that the newest White Stripes album is the worst album of the year. Somewhere along the line (early 2002 to be exact), Rolling Stone magazine decided that 60's garage rock was going to make a comeback. Out came band after band that all sound like they recorded their album with a cassette deck in the drummer's basement: The Strokes, the Hives, the Vines, the White Stripes, etc. etc. ad infinitum.
The White Stripes in particular chose to justify their lack of instrumentation, overly simplistic guitar and drum sequences, poor recording quality, and off-key singing as "minimalist style". It is so minimalist, in fact, that my most recent recording of Got to Get Her Out sounds like it was recorded at Abbey Road in comparison.
Let's take a look at their song "Seven Nation Army", which is played approximately every thirty seconds on 93X. First of all, we get it Meg, you know how to play the damn kick drum. Over and over again, kick drum kick drum kick drum. This is drumming for 3rd graders. Anyone can do this. And above it we have...a repetitive bass line. Over and over again. I can play this, and I don't even play bass. Sure it gets stuck in your head, but any song with a repetitive progression can do that, and chances are it won't have Jack's certifiably awful singing.
Then there's their new single "Hardest Button to Button". Once again, Meg shows off the drumming abilities of a first year member of middle school band. [thunk thunk thunk thunk] over and over. This time, there's no catchy simple bass line, but just quick repetitions of the same guitar chord. This is what's going to "save rock and roll"?
Then there are the lyrics (besides the constant "the hardest button to button"):
We started living in an old house
My ma gave birth and we were checking it out
It was a baby boy
So we bought him a toy
It was a ray gun
And it was 1981
We named him Baby
He had a toothache
He started crying
It sounded like an earthquake
This is just horrible, and it's not like the vocals lend anything to the song besides a nails-on-the-chalkboard cringe.
And according to Rolling Stone, this is the 390th greatest album of all time. But how much credence can you lend to a list that puts the Strokes "Is This It" at #367, just below The Smashing Pumpkins' "Siamese Dream"? Siamese Dream is a classic, with 4 hit singles and complex, layered instrumentation. The Strokes are disposable crap that people will have forgotten about in 5 years.
Comments
Wow. Siamese Dream was that low? Geez. It deserves much better than that. Well, I never did like subjective lists like those anyway.
Posted by: Eileen at December 3, 2003 8:42 PM
Chris, I'm amazed at how divergent out musical tastes are. I actually quite like The Strokes...
Posted by: Nathan at December 3, 2003 9:15 PM
The Strokes are far better than the White Stripes - the White Stripes' music only angers me. At least with the Strokes that's mixed with depression that such music was ever recorded.
The list, however, is crap. Van Halen makes it on there only once(for "Van Halen")...1984 is completely ignored, despite having four classic mullet anthems on it. Metallica has no albums on the list, but Dolly Parton's got one.
Oh, yeah - and James Brown's "Greatest Hits" album is on it. Well, hell, if you want to include compilations...
Posted by: Brian at December 4, 2003 11:37 AM
Metallica has a number of albums on the list, I know for a fact that the black album is on there.
Posted by: Chris Hill Festival at December 4, 2003 3:07 PM
Hmm...I just did a search and did not find one. Maybe I'm just blind.
Posted by: Brian at December 4, 2003 4:31 PM
Whoever's responsible for that list needs to be fired. I can understand ranking Beatles albums high, but putting 4 of their albums in the top 10 is ridiculous, especially when neither Velvet Underground and Nico nor Nevermind are in the top 10.
Their relative rankings of albums from the same artists is pretty wonky too. The Bends 50 spots ahead of OK Computer? Murmur almost as far ahead of Automatic for the People? Putting Weezer on the list and skipping over Pinkerton completely? You've got to be kidding me.
And don't even get me started on putting "Greatest Hits" albums on a top-anything list.
Posted by: Greg at December 5, 2003 12:03 AM
I thought that the only good thing about the list was that they recognized the unparalleled brilliance of the Beatles.
Posted by: Nathan at December 5, 2003 5:43 PM
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