Let's say you're a graduate student in Computer Science at Washington University (which shouldn't be too much of a stretch for most of you reading this), and you have a choice between two classes:

Class A: No midterm. No final. A few small programming assignments. 1 Reasonably-priced textbook. Class meets from 4-5:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the same time as your Monday-Wednesday class.

Class B: Midterm. Final. Large final project that "if it crashes during the demo, you fail the class". No textbook. Class meets from 7-8:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Which class do you take? If you're crazy like me, you opt for choice B, choosing to save the 40 bucks on the textbook and do more interesting programming assignments in exchange for your free time. I will certainly regret this in, say, November, when it is 10 degrees outside, frozen dead squirrels are jamming the parking gate shut, and I have to drive through ice and swirling snow in order to make it to lecture every Tuesday and Thursday.

Or I'll just skip class, sip hot chocolate, and do my programming assignment.

And now, even though Lucas has not been brave enough to accept my challenge, week 1 of the NFL picks:

NYJ at WAS: The season kicks off with the most boring of possible matchups: the 2003 New York Jets vs. the 2002 New York Jets sans decent quarterback or stable running game. Go with the coach who is normal or the coach who is nuts? Go with the running back who is old and good or the four running backs who are young and crappy? Go with the quarterback who is 40 or the quarterback in his 20's who can't hold onto the ball? NYJ

JAX at CAR: Another snoozer, does anybody besides Lucas' girlfriend care who wins this game? There's not even an interesting subplot like in the previous game, such as will Danny Wuerffel make an appearance even though he's not on the team anymore? If there's one immutable law in football, it's that Fred Taylor will get hurt at some point during the year. I predict it will happen now. CAR

AZ at DET: Yuck! This game will draw 10 fans, unless they are giving away Marty Mornhinweg bobbleheads or something like that. Gotta go with the home crappy team over the visiting crappy team. DET

MIN at GB: Finally a game that doesn't make me cry. Normally the Pack at home is an automatic pick, but it's too early for their coldness to be a factor. Plus the Vikings have x-factor Moe Williams, my favorite non-Patriots NFL player. MIN

BAL at PIT: Pittsburgh's defense took a hit when Joey Porter got shot the other day, but it won't take much to stop a rookie QB who had one good year in college. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes, and this blind squirrel got luck and found his directly before the NFL draft. PIT

NE at BUF: Normally the Pats are a given against their former leader, the statuesque Drew Bledsoe. However, I think the sudden cutting of Lawyer Milloy has sent the Pats into a state of shock that they won't be able to recover from in time for this game. Mark my words, Bill Belichick, this crazy boneheaded move will cost your team the Super Bowl. BUF

DEN at CIN: This year is, as is seemingly every year, Cincy's year to break free from an endless cycle of horrible play and actually improve. Not yet. DEN

IND at CLE: If you took the best players from each of these teams' defensive units and combined them, you still wouldn't have an NFL defense. I don't know what the line is on this game, but take the over. CLE

SD at KC: The Chargers always start well, and the Chiefs (and my fantasy team) might be without Tony Gonzalez (although weepy Dick Vermeil will wait until 10 minutes before the game to announce this). I'll make this an upset special. SD

HOU at MIA: A corollary to the 1st Immutable Law of Football ("Fred Taylor wilst always finish the season injured") is thus: "The Dolphins will start every year 4- or 5-0, play reasonably well over the next few games, then crash and burn when the weather dost turn cold". MIA

STL at NYG: The Giants always play the Rams tough. Plus Mike Martz is crazy. NYG

ATL at DAL: Bill Parcells! Parcells Parcells Parcells! Bill Bill! Parcells! ATL

CHI at SF: I don't want to pick either of these teams, but the Bears have Kordell Stewart, and Jeff Garcia's back hasn't forced him into using a cane on the field just yet. SF

NO at SEA: A notoriously fast-starting team against a notoriously slow-starting team. I'll take the Saints until the games start to count. NO

OAK at TEN: Once again, fast start at slow start. Age won't catch up to the Raiders just yet, and if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times: The Titans are so overrated. OAK

TB at PHI: Philly didn't exactly look dominating in the preseason, and who will be running the ball? The guy who didn't practice at all, the guy who sat out all of last year with an injury, or the fast and frail guy who might break if he plays more than 3 snaps? TB

Posted by: Lucas at September 3, 2003 4:03 PM