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He Fights For Freedom Whenever There's Trouble
Before I start this post, I'd like to point out that Lucas' and my favorite NBA player, Nene Hilario, has dropped the "Hilario" in favor of just Nene. I don't understand why anyone with such a kick-ass name would dare mess with perfection...
But now on to the real topic of tonight's post: the California governor's race. It seems things are getting out of hand and everyone thinks they're qualified to be governor: Gallagher, Larry Flynt, former Bryan 503 poster-boy Arnold Schwarzenegger, and even Gary Coleman. Former baseball commissioner Peter Ueberroth is even rumored to be joining the party. Who's next, Pete Rose?
Arnold is looking to be the strongest candidate right now, and if the position were Governor of Gold's Gym he would certainly be the most qualified, but there's still time before tomorrow's deadline for my dark horse candidate to emerge and win the voter's hearts: G.I. Joe.
In this time of international crisis, who better to lead our nation to victory over terrorists than G.I. Joe? If he were running Gulf War Part Deux, not only would we have won the war in 30 minutes or less but no one on either side would have gotten killed. Our futuristic laser weaponry would have shot down every Iraqi plane, but all soldiers on both sides would have parachuted to safety.
Plus he knows Sergeant Slaughter.
Comments
Why is Nene allowed to drop part of his name? Did he do it legally, through the courts, or did he just release a press statement that said he was dropping part of his name?
Posted by: david at August 9, 2003 12:16 AM
The only thing that could make this whole recall situation more ridiculous is if some rich, eccentric famous person like Jesse Ventura got involved. Oh, wait... Well, I suppose there are some people even less qualified to be governor, like that sumo wrestler guy who's running (or is that just according to the Daily Show?). At least Arnold has mastered the use of meaningless, crowd-pleasing catchphrases, even if we can't understand him half the time. And since the race has already degenerated into a silly contest of marketable images, the Democrats might as well support a candidate who, like Arnold, only pretends to know something about politics. I say they nominate Martin Sheen, aka President Jeb Bartlett on the West Wing. In fact, Martin Sheen should just do away with the whole "Martin Sheen" image and just pretend to be his character from the West Wing. Because apparently being a famous actor means you can fix all of the problems of this country. After all, look at what Reagan did! (cough, cough)
Posted by: Eileen at August 9, 2003 1:02 AM
G.I. Joe comes with a slew of great ideas. For example, this conflict in Iraq would be much simpler if the bad guys shot blue lasers and the good guys shot red lasers.
Posted by: ab9 at August 11, 2003 3:40 AM
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