Congratulations to all the graduating readers who are sallying forth into the real world. In honor of your accomplishments (and the fact that I got free food all day on Friday because of them), I've composed this short poem:

How soon this day has seemed to arrive
The quickest four years (for some of you five)

You've seen renovations, new dorms, and a bunny
Extravagant buildings that cost lots of money

Tulips that spring forth when parents are over
In all of April and a week in October

Dinner at Center Court, when your friends made you go
Bear's Den chicken tenders five nights in a row

Drinking without knowing just when to stop
And Ursa's fake sushi for 8 bucks a pop

Now you're moving on to a higher base pay
But it means starting work at 8 every day

The exams are finished, no more CEC
But then again, no more web surfing for free

Now you'll have to pay for and cook your own food
No time to waste every night playing Snood

So enjoy this short break before you have to get rollin'
If you're still in town, hope your car is not stolen

Your family assembles and pictures are taken
And afterwards you get to eat shrimp wrapped in bacon

It's St. Louis, so sunlight turns quickly to showers
Just hope the commencement last less than two hours

You're dressed in your fineries, I still look like a slob
But next year, like me, you still won't have a job.