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This Program is Sponsored by Washington University...
While watching TV as I ate my dinner of Hot Braised Chicken from Chinese Express, I saw about 4 or 5 ads for Vatterott College. Not only do they offer "courses in electricity", but now they even offer a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science. That's exactly what I have, and probably for much more than I would've paid at Vatterott, although I like to think my degree means a little more.
Regardless, Vatterott has thrown down the gauntlet and taken up arms as our competitor, and as such we need to take the challenge and fire back. I submit for your approval the following commercial message:
Where can you go to get a top-notch education [shot of graduation] without the unnecessary excesses of sleep [shot of architecture students taking NoDoz], a social life [shot of the CEC help desk workers playing Starcraft], or even real work [shot of art students drawing naked people]?
What school can give you compulsory medical coverage [shot of Health Services person with a stethescope listening to the chest of a student whose broken bone is protruding from his arm], guidance [tacky video-wipe to scene of an RA smoking marijuana with his residents], and health facilities [shot of Native Americans stealing basketballs and weight room equipment with "Out of Order signs]?
How can you make sure you're prepared for today's job market [shot of half-full career fair with more armed services than corporations]?
Washington University...we may have no dating scene [shot of unattractive drunk people hooking up]...but tuition is going up anyway [shot of Chancellor Wrighton wearing a suit covered in dollar signs holding fistfuls of cash].
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