In the current environment of wariness and concern over possible terrorist retailiation for a war in Iraq, there are bound to be a few unscrupulous Americans who prey on the fears of their fellow countrymen in order to make a quick buck. Take the latest piece of spam I received, for example, which offers an Emergency Cellular Phone for not $114.99 but the low low price of $99.99. This amazing phone requires no monthly contracts or startup costs for service, and in fact it has no local or long distance service of any kind. What it does do is let you call 911 absolutely free in the event of a terrorist attack.

Great deal, right? The annoying red-white-and-blue HTML graphics of the message may make it seem like your patriotic duty to purchase this phone, but it's a well-known fact that all cell phones, even those of the non-patriotic-emergency variety, are required by law to provide access to 911 even in the absence of any calling plan. Therefore you can take advantage of this extra special deal without the absurd charge by finding a friend or neighbor with an old cell phone model that they don't use anymore. I believe that we still have 2 or 3 of them at home, perhaps my parents should open an antiterrorism store.