You know what really makes my day? Opening my email and finding a message that reads: "Rufus Fish, your recent entry to win the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes is now confirmed!" Now if only the prize patrol would show up with a gigantic check written out to my aquatic pet, that would truly be priceless.

You know what really does NOT make my day? Being constantly bombarded with Valentine's Day-ness, even by spam messages. As much as I want to respond to the "Are you ready? Valentine's Day is almost here..." bulk mail from the Hotmail staff with a scathing "I have nothing to be ready FOR, you filthy bastards, thanks for reminding me...", somehow I don't think it would do much good.