The folks over at Weather.com decided to post a forecast of mid to upper 50's today through 6 PM. I was so confident in their numbers that I wore shorts and proceeded to taunt Lucas since he-of-the-cold-white-north wore jeans.

However, as you St. Louisians are well aware, it is currently 42 degrees outside. My walk from my place of employment to the shuttle stop was quite painful. Damn you Wea them go something like this:

Hi there, I'm a new girl in town (22 years old).

New girl in what town? Some of the messages I've received also specify the occupation of the "new girl in town". My favorite was a 26 year old chef.

I saw your profile on Internet and found it very interesting.

That is interesting, since I don't really have a profile on "Internet".

I am new to the area and don't have any friends yet :=[

And what better way to make friends than mass-mailing spam messages to people?

I recently purchesed web cam and looking for friends to talk to.... who knows maybe one day we'll be more then friends ;-)

Apparently, you are very new to the area. In English we have these things called "articles" which are often used before nouns. For instance "the Internet" or "a web cam". I don't know if I can be more than friends with someone with such a limited mastery of our nation's grammar.

If you interested email me back at elisabeth_348_douglas@hotmail.com and we can maybe video chat, exchange pictures or share stories.

In English we also have these things called "verbs"...and why is your reply-to address different from the one that you sent me this message from?

It seems to be a pattern that viruses and fake porn spam are rife with incorrect spelling and grammar. It kind reduces the effectiveness of your virus when the message that it is attached to contains text like "I make new game! You first to try new game." There are probably tons of gullible people out there who only recognize the file as a virus or the message as spam because it was quite obviously translated poorly from Dictionary.com, and these people would quickly and easily open any viral attachment if the accompanying text were written by a native speaker. Just something to think about next time you're planning the best and quickest way to take down Internet.