Today I saw a commercial for Slim Fast where a woman came on the screen and said "With Slim Fast, losing weight was so easy!" while at the same time at the bottom in small print it read "Losing weight is not easy." How is this not false advertising?

Another reason why New Year's has been added to my list of arch-nemeses is that for the entire month of January I cannot set foot anywhere near any gym in the continental United States because they're all packed to the gills with goal-oriented, driven individuals who have vowed to lose weight in the new year and will do anything it takes to do so...for about 2 weeks. After this time, 98% of them get so discouraged that they haven't dropped 10 dress or pant sizes that they abandon the treadmill for the ice cream stand.

I see from the latest Subway ads that our friend Jared is now attributing not only his incredible shedding of 240 pounds to eating subs every day but also the fact that he has secured a wife. That's one hell of a sandwich.