What do the following people have in common?

Stephen Baldwin
Corbin Bernsen
Michael Boatman
Kim Coles
Frederique
Kathy Griffin
Erik von Detten

The Answer: they're all "celebrity personalities" that are contestants on the new overhyped show Celebrity Mole: Hawaii. That's all well and good except for one little complaint: none of these people are celebrities. "Celebrity" implies that they are well known by a lot of people for their work in television, film, or music. I had to look on the Internet Movie Database to find where most of these folks earned their stripes.

Stephen Baldwin: Brother of real-celebrity Alec Baldwin, has starred in almost every crappy b-movie made in the last 10 years including The Flintstones Viva Rock Vegas, Slapshot 2: Breaking the Ice, and Bio-dome.

Corbin Bernsen: Played Roger Dorn in Major League (and all sequels) as well as a number of straight-to-video specials like Apocalypse IV: Judgement and Atomic Twister (I didn't make this up, it's a real movie).

Michael Boatman: Played Carter on Spin City.

Kim Coles: Co-starred with Queen Latifah on the TV show "Living Single" as well as made numerous appearances on Hollywood Squares.

Frederique: Not as famous as Madonna, Sting, Prince, or Lalaine, Frederique Van Der Wal appears to be some sort of model.

Kathy Griffin: Played the Ghost of Christmas Past in A Diva's Christmas Carol (you just can't make this stuff up, folks) and was on the hit show Suddenly Susan.

Erik Von Detten: Apparently some sort of slave to the Disney Corporation, since he has been in many, many Disney Channel original movies, shows, and animated feature films.

I run my own website that gets 50 some-odd hits per day, and based on these peoples' resumes, I think that makes me a celebrity. I'm passing on The Mole, though, in hopes of making it on for the next season of Star Date...