My Dear Dear Other Amy,
Unfortunately my name may be more common, but surprisingly in our little weblog community I am the only Chris (unless you read Rachel's roommate Christie's weblog, where she often refers to a past boyfriend named Chris in less than flattering terms, and I must keep reminding myself that I didn't do any of these awful things), while there are no less than two Amys. If you would prefer, I could prepend descriptors to both of your names and refer to you as "Swing Dancin' Amy" and "Anime Amy". The reason you got stuck with "Other Amy" rather than just Amy is that you had the misfortune of meeting me second.

In Fondness,
Chris

Now it's time for me to rant about tattoos again. In today's issue of Cadenza, there is a lengthy article about tattoos and body piercings at WashU. I'd like to take a look at some of the statements made in this article:

"...Den-E, a graduate student in the Art School. He would not say his real name, nor his last. They no longer define [him] and so they are irrelevant."

This is one of the most absurd things I have ever read. Your name is not something is supposed to define you. People don't hear my name and automatically assume anything about me (unless I tell them that I'm a CS major). But I hear the name "Den-E" and I automatically think "wacko art student". So it looks like you've had the opposite effect on yourself, Mr. E.

(Another student on why he chose to get a genital piercing): "I really wanted a piercing. And my parents are very anti-piercing".

Wow. Parents everywhere would be wise to read this and immediately try to force their kids into getting piercings, knowing that the kids will defy them by not doing it. This guy will wish his parents had done that when in a few years he looks down and sees an unnecessary hole in his...

"Megan Fishman, a junior, got a Chinese character on her lower back 'because it looks sexy' [Grammatical and spelling errors corrected for readability]...If you're wearing low cut jeans, boys wonder how low it goes.' She has no idea what her symbol means, in fact she's not even sure that it is a symbol. It just looks Chinese and is pretty."

So does Lucy Liu, but that doesn't mean I had her permanently affixed to my back. Also in the vein of people getting mystic symbols inked under their skin that have no meaning:

"Becca Morphew, a sophomore, got her Hebrew lettering because she thought that 'Hebrew is a deep language with a lot of history.' She doesn't know what the Hebrew says on her back either, but she knows it translates to 'Hope'."

If only it translated to "Moron", and for all this silly girl knows it very well might, it would be infinitely more accurate. Girls seem to mistakenly think that all guy find tattoos attractive, where I for one am repulsed by them. Partially because to get this tattoo I know the girl had to sit there for an hour getting stabbed with a needle and injected with ink, and the very thought of this makes me squirm around in my seat.

"These girls both agreed that they enjoyed what their tattoos implied about them. The list of adjectives included that they are perceived as 'sexy, ballsy, out-there, tough, strong, deep, and spiritual'."

Yes, it's very spiritual and deep when you have no idea what the symbol means and you've done it to "look sexy" because you saw that lead singer of your favorite indie-rock band with a tattoo. My list of adjectives of how I perceive girls who have visible tattoos is "trendy, shortsighted, unoriginal", and whatever the most complete opposite of the word "sexy" is.

The article then goes on to describe how poor oppgetting holes punched in your body or ink injected into your skin for eternity is a decision that you made, and now you have to live with the consequences. Just like you have a right to "express yourself" by joining the latest cultural fad, I have the right to judge you as a complete moron and follower for doing so. If you really want to "express yourself", try doing something worthwhile in the world. Those same parents who are resistant to your self-expression are the ones who will have to financially support your asses when you can't get a job because of the Chinese symbol for Sterility on your arm and the bolt through your nose. Maybe I'm intolerant and conservative, or maybe I just see that when everyone is "being an individual" in the same way, it's not too damn individualistic anymore.

I know I've probably offended a great many of you out there, but chances are I've offended you before and will do so again. I don't have any space for comments, but if you want to fire back you can e-mail me and I'll post your comments, even if you call me a dumbass.