Things I've learned from music videos:

-If your band brings instruments to school and start playing them in the halls or classrooms (without even plugging them in I might add), then instead of getting in trouble your teachers will dance around, your classmates will love you, and all females in your school will be attractive and making out with someone.

-Metal teeth, rather than being a sign of poor dental hygiene, is a sign of wealth and status. Or a sign of being a villain in a James Bond movie.

-If you are indie or a solo acoustic act, then the world is in a constant state of blurriness, and the sun often shines brightly into your mostly-empty apartment. Do any indie artists own their own homes?

-The attractiveness of a girl is directly correlated to how large her ass is.

-There are no unattractive girls in the world (unless you are singing a song about one particular unattractive girl who is being picked on by her classmates, in which case there is exactly one unattractive girl in the world).

-If I were cool, I would be wearing either a football jersey or a cap of a now-defunct baseball team right now.

-One need not have musical talent to be a successful musician as long as they have a big entourage, long sandy-blonde indie hair, a large gold chain with a dollar sign around their neck, or bleach-tipped spiked hair covered by a visor.