A few days ago I posted about Leonard Nimoy's unfortunate foray into music video-ness and compared it to the original Batman movie. Well last night that movie was on AMC and my roommates and I had the fortitude to catch the last half hour or so of it.

If you haven't seen this movie, it's about even with Superman IV: The Quest for Peace in terms of realism. There is shark-repellent spray, diplomats being completely dehydrated and turned into test-tubes full of colored dust (and then re-hydrated to form people again), Batman being seduced by Catwoman since he doesn't recognize her without her flimsy mask on, The Penguin purchasing a nuclear submarine using the fake name "P.N. Guinn", said submarine launching "Polaris rockets" bigger than the submarine itself (and with the exact same camera shot each time), and many more complete absurdities. This is the kind of movie where every time something happens you just want to scream at the writers for not even attempting to stick to the laws of physics.

It also has some of the greatest movie quotes:

-At one point Batman is carrying a large black spherical bomb with a huge fuse projecting from the top of it around the city in search of a place to dispose of it without hurting anyone. Robin suggests he tosses it into a bar full of drunks, but Batman reprimands him and say: "They may be drinkers, Robin, but they're still human beings." with the corniest of deliveries.

-When Batman finds out that The Penguin used such an obvious fake name to purchase the submarine, he admonishes the seller by saying: "Disposing of pre-atomic submarines to persons who don't even leave their full addresses? Good day, Admiral!" In fact, Batman does a lot of admonishing and reprimanding in this movie, every time with...a delivery where he...pauses between...phrases.

-And of course there is this great exchange at the beginning of the movie:

Commissioner Gordon: "Penguin, Joker, Riddler...and CATWOMAN, too! The sum of the angles of that rectangle is too monstrous to contemplate!"
Batman: "We've been given the plainest warning: they're working together to take over..."
Chief O'Hara (played in the most stereotypically Irish way possible): "Take over WHAT, Batman: Gotham City?!"
Batman: "Any *2* of them would try that!"
Commissioner Gordon: "The whole country?!"
Batman: "If it were 3 of them, I would say yes, but *4*?! Their minimum objective must be... THE ENTIRE WORLD."

Using this logic, what are mafia crime families taking over? The entire universe?

-And finally to end the movie, a line that sums up the entire exercise in the most effective way possible:

Batman: "Let's go...but inconspicuously...out the window"