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Remember this nutcase? Well after
Remember this nutcase? Well after being inspired by his fictitious conversation with Richard Feynman and his open letter to Stephen Hawking (both of which firmly entrench him as a kook among kooks), I decided to use my fake hotmail account to write my own letter to the kook himself. Here is my letter to him followed by its response:
Dr. Hammond,
My name is [xxxxx xxxxx], and I represent a small multimedia publishing outfit out of California called Upper Creek Design.
Members of my corporation have recently stumbled across your web page and would like to begin negotiations with you for the possible future release of your book as an interactive CD-ROM set or DVD. We believe that multimedia is the best medium for getting your ideas across to the average reader, who may or may not have the advanced knowledge of psychometry and physics that you have.
In particular, on your site you have a crudely-drawn graphic of a human's height in proportion with "God". Our animators and computer graphics specialists can turn this crude drawing into a three-dimensional, rasterized rendering using vector graphics that will make it come alive for the lay person. We can also render the human brain using a new technique of four-dimensional colorspacing for the greatest detail.
Additionally, some of our storyboard artists have been coming up with ideas for a companion video marketed towards children. With the recent popularity of the "Veggie Tales" series in the wake of the 9/11 tragedy, now is the best time to release religious material to the youth market.
One example of an idea we had to make your work more accessible to children is a character, age 8, named Timmy who falls out of a tree and breaks his pelvis. While in the hospital, Timmy questions his parents and the doctors about why he fell out of the tree. They in turn present to him the concept of gravity and how it is related to the concept of God through songs. This way, children see your ideas presented to them from the mouths of figures of authority in their lives and the community in a way that captivates their attention.
Please contact me here with your level of interest in the project and any other ideas or suggestions you may have. Our goal is to have the product on store shelves in time for the Christmas shopping season, but we can only do this if we negotiate a contract quickly. I am authorized to provide a monetary figure only after gauging your interest, so please contact me soon. Thank you for your time, all of us here at Upper Creek Design look forward to doing business with you.
Sincerely,
[xxxxx xxxxx]
xxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com
From "Dr." (he dropped out of his phD program) Hammond:
June 4, 2002
George Hammond, M.S. Physics
Cape Cod, Massachusetts
M. [xxxxx xxxxx]
CEO Upper Creek Design
California
Dear [xxxxx]:
I am very interested in your proposal and highly
interested in pursuing all aspects of the idea.
From your letter I assume that you are a legitimate
business person representing other genuine people
interested in doing business on a mutual and cooperative
basis. However, I must mention that because of the large
exposure of my website to the public, I receive numerous
hoax emails, and never know who I'm talking to unless the
message comes from an .edu or .gov domain, or some other
sort of verification is available. Do you have a website
or any other online reference material which would tell
me something about Upper Creek Design? This would be
very helpful.
Further comments below:
[xxxxx xxxxx] wrote:
>
> Dr. Hammond,
> My name is [xxxxx xxxxx], and I represent a small multimedia publishing
> outfit out of California called Upper Creek Design.
>
> Members of my corporation have recently stumbled across your web page and
> would like to begin negotiations with you for the possible future release of
> your book as an interactive CD-ROM set or DVD. We believe that multimedia
> is the best medium for getting your ideas across to the average reader, who
> may or may not have the advanced knowledge of psychometry and physics that
> you have.
Yes, there seems to be great interest on the popular non-technical
level which could be commercial addressed. 11,000 members of
Fark.com hit my website yesterday, and it is doubtful if any of
them know physics or mathematics. Graphical dramatization is an
appropriate method of approach to this market.
>
> In particular, on your site you have a crudely-drawn graphic of a human's
> height in proportion with "God". Our animators and computer graphics
> specialists can turn this crude drawing into a three-dimensional, rasterized
> rendering using vector graphics that will make it come alive for the lay
> person. We can also render the human brain using a new technique of
> four-dimensional colorspacing for the greatest detail.
I am still writing the book, and find that illustrating it
is a major problem. The book should contain at least 50
illustrations, most of them quite simple, but advanced
illustration methods are applicable. I am planning to publish
the book through a "print on demand" publisher (there are
several large ones affiliated with Barnes & Noble and Random
House).
>
> Additionally, some of our storyboard artists have been coming up with ideas
> for a companion video marketed towards children. With the recent popularity
> of the "Veggie Tales" series in the wake of the 9/11 tragedy, now is the
> best time to release religious material to the youth market.
good idea
>
> One example of an idea we had to make your work more accessible to children
> is a character, age 8, named Timmy who falls out of a tree and breaks his
> pelvis. While in the hospital, Timmy questions his parents and the doctors
> about why he fell out of the tree. They in turn present to him the concept
> of gravity and how it is related to the concept of God through songs. This
> way, children see your ideas presented to them from the mouths of figures of
> authority in their lives and the community in a way that captivates their
> attention.
The "scientific proof of God" (which is a bona fide scientific
discovery by the way) is going to be a media bonanza for at
least a decade, if not longer. The possibilities are endless,
and given the impact of the discovery, almost all of them are
guaranteed to fly.
>
> Please contact me here with your level of interest in the project and any
> other ideas or suggestions you may have. Our goal is to have the product on
> store shelves in time for the Christmas shopping season, but we can only do
> this if we negotiate a contract quickly. I am authorized to provide a
> monetary figure only after gauging your interest, so please contact me soon.
> Thank you for your time, all of us here at Upper Creek Design look forward
> to doing business with you.
[xxxx], please give me some more information about who you are
and what Upper Creek Design is... online references are the
most convenient. If not, I can give you my mailing address
and you could send me some promotional material or something
to give me a better idea of your endeavors.
Wow, is this guy a nut. Wow.
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