Last night, again my own common sense and against self-awareness of my lack of rhythm, I went swing dancing. After a short lesson (during which I learned how to spin girls around in circles and that one of the other guys who was there is the biggest tool on the face of the Earth), the dancing commenced and I promptly forgot everything I learned in favor of the "step back and forth and every once in awhile, when your partner least suspects it, attempt to spin her around but let go of her hands" technique. I am too used to basketball, where the object of spinning is to fool the person in front of you into thinking you're going the other way. This does not work as well on the dance floor. I am more suited to the style of dancing that involves jumping up and down and screaming as loud as I can over punk music.

In a post a few weeks ago, I mentioned how I don't feel safe anyplace in St. Louis, especially at night, because of all the sketchy characters. Let me add "Maplewood, Missouri" to my list of places never to visit again (composed right now of Delmar Schnucks, the Loop after 10 PM, the Clayton Schnucks after 11 PM, and anyplace East of Union when it is dark). As we were waiting outside, we were first accosted by a sloppy drunk and his date who called us gay. Then a stretch limo drove by and out of the back window came a tattooed, Fred Durst-ish hand flicking us off. Keep in my we are just standing on the curb talking. Then we crossed the street to go to our car and an insane redneck who looked exactly like Kid Rock almost hit us with his pickup truck, then swerved off the road, jumped out, and started screaming and calling Berney a "nigga" (Berney is Asian). He informed us, in a very loud voice, that we shouldn't mess with him because he is from the "Hood", then clarified himself by saying "Maple-Hood". We made our way back to our car as he continued to yell at us and threatened to kill/injure/shoot us a few times, then Vanessa almost hit him with her car as we sped away. Luckily Kid did not follow us. Remember this is all because we crossed the street and he was speeding. I hate St. Louis.