If you're a regular reader you noticed my absence last week and the lack of links to someone that I normally link to frequently. You'll also notice the timestamp of this post and think "hmm...Chris doesn't usually post at 7:30 in the morning" and then the wheels will start turning. Last weekend my girlfriend of 9 months broke up with me. After talking about things later in the week and giving me the impression that we would get back together (we have before), she thought it would be appropriate to hook up with another guy this past weekend, 5 days after breaking up with me. She probably doesn't find it quite as appropriate that I'm posting about it to the internet, but at this point I'm not really concerned about her feelings considering her lack of concern regarding mine.

Therefore I'd like to take this opportunity to proclaim my free agency. Single life is not as great as advertised on television, so I'm looking to my loyal readers for help. It's the first annual "Find Chris a Girlfriend" Sweepstakes, and the winner will receive a cache of -273 stickers and a prize to be determined later. Here's what I'm looking for:

-Of legal age but not too old, so let's say 18-24.
-Less than or equal to my height of 5' 7".
-Interested in a relationship, not to say we'll have one, but not just interested in "playing the field".
-A light or non-drinker.
-Non-smoker.
-Someone who enjoys going out and doing fun things but also just hanging out watching movies or playing cards.
-Appreciates humor and has a good sense of humor herself.
-Lives or goes to school in the St. Louis area.

Everything else is pretty open, I'm pretty easygoing about personalities so there is a lot of leeway.

So that's about it. Phone your friends, have them phone their friends, this could be their only chance. The window of opportunity is open now but could close at any time. Good luck.