I went to the zoo this afternoon with my once-again-online girlfriend and was struck with one stunning fact: tattoos and body piercings are just a bad idea. I know the trend is for everyone between age 15 and 25 to get as many "tats" and piercings as possible in an effort to "express themselves", but think about this: how will said "tats" and piercings look when you are "40 years old" and a "mother of 3". The answer: absolutely ridiculous and trashy. I know there aren't many impressionable teens reading my webpage, but if any happen to surf in looking for "naked sorority initiation" (don't laugh, many have before for some reason) and read this then please, for the love of God, I implore you to think before you copy all your friends and express yourself in a generic manner like this. How will that Chinese symbol for tranquility on your lower back look when you're bending over to pick up the bottle that your newborn dropped on the ground? Will a pierced tongue get in the way when you're kissing your infant goodnight? More importantly, when you take your family to the zoo and you're covered in absurd-looking body art will everyone immediately label you as white trash?