I've just been chastised by michael of all people about not posting, and I know you're all on the edge of your seats about whether I'll be taken in by the Nigerian scam, so here's the latest missive from Benni Zuma:


Dear [xxxxx xxxxxx],

I am sorry for not responding to your mail promptly. I have been out of town on official duties. I just saw the mail you sent to me.
I want to assure that there is nothing to be wary about your sending your tel. and fax numbers down as this transaction is 100% risk free as far as we keep it to ourselves and you adhere to our instructions over here.

Silly me, so worried about sending my personal information to someone I've never met in another country who is planning on laundering $24 million US.

The indemntiy form that we collected from the Justice ministry is now with me. I have to fax it down to you, so that you could have it completed and faxed back to me immediately. So, I would want you to send down your tel. and fax number down so that I can send the form down to you today. My tel. no is +27-834993447.

If this is any sort of real phone number I would be highly surprised. As it is I'll report it to the authorities anyway.

Please anytime you call me, the first thing you should say is 'WHAT IS THE CODE". I would then answer "BLUE BALLOON". If I do not answer correctly, just know that you are not talking to the right person and you should just terminate
the call.

...and then start running. I have prepared a series of aliases for you to use as you fly to a remote town in South America and live as a peasant under an assumed name. Destroy your credit cards and pay only cash, we will contact you in two weeks with further instructions. This sounds like one of those John Grisham novels where the lawyer does something illegal and contacts his client or whomever the target is with a series of crazy fake names and it is always easy to procure fake passports and other legal documents.

This is because we have bad telecommunication systems here and most lines jam when calls are made. This also to ensure confidentiality and to make sure you are speaking with me but not to the wrong person.

i.e. one of the other members of a highly-trained staff of scam artists who are manning the phones daily. Dial extension 01 for Blue Balloon. Dial extension 02 for Red Balloon. Dial extension 03 for Miss Cleo.

I expect your mail as soon as possible. God bless you and your family.

--
_______________________________________________
Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com
http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup


At this point it's about time to have some fun with Benni Zuma, I'm thinking Papa Johns Pizza would be a good international toll call for him to make. I thought about 1-800-My-Sluts or a similar service, but most of those are free (and too obviously fake). I may not be able to get him to reveal enough info to be captured, but I can force him into paying for a high-priced international phone call to a nationwide pizza chain. Here is my response to Mr. Zuma:


Benni,
It would be safer if you called me. I do not want my wife to see a phone bill with an international call on it and start asking questions. My home phone number is 1-703-459-4502. Please call during the evening. I will give you my fax number then. There is a chance my wife or son could pick up the phone. To ensure it is me, say the word "DELIVERY" and I will say the words "RED SPARROW". If it is not me, my family will think it is a delivery man who got the wrong number so you can just hang up. I expect to hear from you soon.

xxxxx xxxxx


The number, interestingly enough is the phone number of a Pizza Hut delivery restaurant in Woodstock, VA. By saying the word delivery, both parties will hopefully be confused enough so that he stays on the phone long enough to rack up a bit more of a toll charge.

Thus ends my saga with some perpetrators of the Nigeria Scam. I'm also reporting it to the Secret Service as they have a special account set up to gather information about the scam.