I just wanted to take this opportunity to remind everyone how bad the movie "Batman and Robin" is. I fear that as time passes and more and more bad movies are released, Batman and Robin will slip out of our collective consciousness. Someday, you could be browsing the old releases at Blockbuster and come across it. "Have I ever seen this Batman movie?," you'll wonder to yourself, "I don't remember, I guess I'll rent it." And that will be your fatal mistake.

There are precious few things I expect from a Batman movie, but one of the important ones is that the actor playing Batman should be competent. In this movie, George Clooney transforms Batman from a dark, brooding character haunted by nightmares of his parents to a buffoonish character whose head shakes side to side whenever he talks like some sort of walking jack-in-the-box. Batman should command the audience's attention whenever he's on the screen, but Clooney is often upstaged by Robin, Poison Ivy, Mr. Freeze, random henchmen with stupid props, plants, buildings, and neon things.

Speaking of neon things, why the hell is half of Gotham City built with gothic architecture, large stone gargoyles, and huge stone buildings like it's supposed to be, while the other half is inhabited by lame-o street gangs with glowing neon paint a la Teddy Ruxpin's caterpillar pal Grubby. These street gangs, along with taking credibility away from Gotham, also are the central figures of the absolute worst action sequence ever attributed to celluloid. That would be the extravagantly unnecessary "bike race" scene featuring Robin, Batgirl, and a horde of mindless neon people. It does absolutely nothing to advance the plot and wastes a good 15 minutes of our time to make this important character development: Robin and Batgirl are both stupid, stupid people.

On the topic of both Batgirl and bad casting decisions, Alicia Silverstone's Batgirl was about as believable as Denise Richards' Dr. Christmas Jones the Nuclear Physicist in the last Bond movie. Silverstone delivers scintillating lines like "Suit me up Uncle Alfred" no way in hell that even doltishly wooden Batman or impishly stupid Robin would fall for her. Mr. Freeze is a whole other story. Arnold Schwarzenegger looks a lot like Mr. Freeze, but that's all that the large Austrian has going for him. Unfortunately for him, he also had writers who were apparently high on crack. Therefore throughout the movie he spouts awful puns like "Everybody freeze!" and "Let's kick ice!". How can they expect me to hear a line like "My name is Freeze, learn it well, for it is the chilling sound of your dooooom" coming out of the mouth of Arnold without falling on the floor laughing?

Everyone who had anything to do with this movie, which singlehandedly killed the Batman series for now, should be barred from ever entering Hollywood again. It is a travesty to all that is right and good about summer blockbusters and should be required viewing for all film majors and aspiring directors. Only then can we assure that its stunning horrendousness will never be duplicated.