In an effort to provide you with the best content a blogger can find, the Chris Hill Festival has obtained an anonymous hotmail account. To start off the shenanigans, I replied to Mr. Zuma, who had the kindness to send me the traditional Nigeria Scam letter yesterday. I accidentally deleted the letter I sent, in which I explained how excited I was to participate and asked for more information, but here is the response that Benni sent this morning:


Dear [xxxxx xxxxxx],

We acknowledge the receipt of your mail in response to our proposal in which you indicated your interest towards knowing about the details of this transaction. I hereby, convey the acceptance of my colleagues that I continue discussions with you untill the completion of this mutual beneficial project. As requested by you, here is a detailed mail explaining the nature of this
transaction to you.

What the? "Those words, I do not think you know what they mean".


We are three-man members with the South Africa Department of Mining & Natural Resources (SADMNR) of the Ministry of ministry of minerals and Energy vested with the authority to appraise and approve contracts according to the priority of the Government of South Africa.

That's interesting, a quick Google search finds no reference anwhere to "SADMNR". How odd.


By virtue of our official positions in the (SADMNR), we have been able to over time, through hindsight of mining contracts documents which we have secured for ourselves a contract sum of US$24M(Twenty-Four Million,United States Dollars) only, lying fallow in our Apex Bank (RBSA) which was originally awarded and completed by an Americn company and now we need your assistance to transfer the funds into a safe offshore account.

$24million US Dollars only? Through hindsight? You would think these scam artists would at least some sort of reasonable effort to write a believable letter. Do people actually fall for this? In hindsight do they not realize they are complete morons to read this and believe that it's true?

[snip banking mumbo-jumbo using big words like "escrow" in an effort to sound official]


we will procure the appropriate documents by ncorporating any name you will give as an existing company over here in which
you will fill and append your signature indicating you/your company name as the new beneficiary for prompt remittance of
the funds into your nominated account. With the machineries in place the ownership of the contract sum will be transferred to you after the validation and authentication of the documents at the Department of Justice here in Johannesburg .


Any name I choose can be my company name? So I could incorporate the name, say, "Coca-Cola" and I will be incorporated in South Africa? Interesting. But what's this about the Department of Justice? If this is so hush-hush, should we really be going before the Department of Justice? Maybe I should mention this in my response, I wouldn't want anyone to find out about the plan.


We intend arriving at your place with the relevant original papers/documents within 72 hours...

Oh no you shant!


as soon as you receive notification of transfer from the Debt Reconciliation Committee (DRC) before the funds are finally transferred into your nominated bank account by Key Tested Telegraphic Transfer (K.T.T).

What is up with all the acronyms? Surprise surprise, "K.T.T." actually seems to be a real technology, and if you do a Google search for it you'll see that this technology is the main means for African lowlifes to scam money from stupid Americans.


In this regard, we would need your tel. and fax number, so that we counld fax down an indemnity application form which you would be required to fill and fax back to me immediately in order to facilitate quick approval of the subsequent power of attorney that will bestow all rights and privileges to you,

HAHAHAHAHAHA, yeaaaaaaaah, right.


remember this business is 100% risk-free as long as maximum confidentiality is maintained by you.

I don't know which of these two clauses "100% risk free" or "maximum confidentiality" are more ridiculous. You choose.


My colleagues and I would require your personal guarantee concerning the safety/availability of our share on demand when the funds is credited to your nominated account and advised us accordingly on high yielding investment portfolios in your country.

Suuuure, you can have it wheneeeever you want....yoink.

[snip more mumbo-jumbo, including a 20% offer to me]


Expecting your quick response . God bless you and your family.


--
_______________________________________________
Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com


It's good to know that the money hasn't gone to Benni's head and that even rich South African diplomats use FREE Personalized E-mail!

Anyway, I've fired off another reply. I'll post it later when I hear back from Benni. Keep a lookout for more anonymous e-mail fun.