I just saw that awful, awful McDonalds commercial featuring that annoying guy that says everything twice. They call him "Eddie the Echo", and he looks like he should be fronting Weezer or coming in from the bullpen for the Indians in "Major League 4: The Guy Who Plays Willie Mays Hays Actually Gets Another Acting Job". They show this commercial about once every 5 other commercials, and every time I see it I get this uncontrollable urge to go to McDonalds and squirt the ketchup out of that little pump-action thingy all over the counter and then leave. And do people yet realize that none of the people in fast food commercials who work behind the counter actually look like real fast food employees?

Person Behind Subway Counter in "Jared" Commercials: Attractive female who looks like she's taking a big pay cut to work at Subway, often flirts openly with the customers. Always serves a sandwich that looks perfect in every way with no condiments spilling out. Every piece of lettuce is in its place, and service is always with a smile. Fresh bread is always coming out of the oven.

Person Behind Subway Counter at Mallinckrodt Center: One or more teeth made of substances other than enamel. Often talking unintelligbly on the phone rather than serving customers. When not on the phone, employee is usually flirting with one or more other employees who are behind the back wall and/or cussing them out. Oftentimes your request for "just lettuce" results in a sandwich with tomatoes and/or peppers. Bread is always coming out of the oven, but never the variety you actually want.