Quick quiz: Which campus group perpetrated the following crime...

Members offended three visiting women's tennis teams and the Washington University administration, allegedly yelling sexually explicit epithets and throwing a dead squirrel onto the courts during a tennis match on Saturday, March 15.

If you guessed a fraternity, and chances are you would considering their reputation, you would be absolutely correct.

It is a rare occasion where you can offend four colleges all in the span of one morning, but this particular fraternity managed to do just that by yelling obscene phrases at their female tennis players. The "brothers" started off with a few suggestions for the girls, notably "Hey girls, you can't [expletive deleted] play tennis, so why don't you come upstairs, and I'll show you something you can play with". Apparently the players did not catch the implied subtleties, so the guys decided to spell it out in easier-to-understand terms: "Why don't you come up here and let me [expletive deleted] you in your [expletive deleted].". Then, apparently frustrated because none of the girls accepted their invitations, the guys did what any logical person would do and hurled a dead squirrel onto the courts. At this point it became official that the squirrel, dead or alive, had more common sense than any of the males involved in this situation.

Before you start bashing the frat, keep in mind that the guys had a perfectly logical excuse: they were drunk. You see, by choosing to consume large amounts of alcohol you, by default, automatically are not responsible for any of your actions. At least this is the standard defense.

Despite pleas by the fraternity that people consider also the positive philanthropic benefits of the weekend ($1,000 raised for charity), it is hard to look past drunken obscenity and a good old-fashioned squirrel-hurling. Some of the opposing tennis coaches suggested that the brothers be required to undergo sensitivity training, but I think at this point if you can't recognize that yelling obscenities and throwing a dead squirrel onto a tennis court during a match are both inappropriate behaviors for 20+ year-olds then you're never going to learn.