Cruise Report Part 3 of 4, Cozumel: Scuba Diving, Mexican Prostitutes, and Pikachu

I have been to Mexico, so I kind of knew what to expect. Everyone would want our money. There is no fixed price for anything, haggling is encouraged, and beverages are undrinkable. We also heard that shopping was good, and because our shore excursion did not depart until 1 in the afternoon we slept in for a little while and then got up to hit the town. We were once again docked rather than anchored, so we got right off the ship and onto Mexican soil, where the cruise photographer immediately began bombarding us with props and trying to take our picture. First was a photo with no props, then someone held a very large lizard up to our chest so it looked like we were holding it, then a photo with someone dressed in what looked suspiciously like American Indian garb. This would be the least tacky of our Mexican adventures.

We walked through a giant duty-free store that sold liquor, perfume, and large stone penises (I'm not kidding, I'll scan a picture as soon as I get a chance), and came out in the "shopping town" which had seemingly been set up the night before in preparation for tourists. The shopkeepers were relentless in their sales pitches, despite the fact that every single store sold only one product: "funny shirts". Most of the shirts referred to alcohol or the sun, while others quite accurately poked fun at Mexico's dirty water supply. There was a row of about 20 stores which all sold the same shirts, and they were apparently all in a competition as to who could price the shirts cheapest in order to sell some. An economist would have a field day here. In addition, they used some shady sales tactics to try and convince us to buy shirts. "Hey dudes, funny shirts $1", "Hey dudes, come inside, buy something", and my personal favorite "Hey mister, want to see my sister?" This particular shopkeeper apparently realized we were not interested in funny shirts and, in a desperate attempt to earn our American money, took a stab at positioning another product: cheap Mexican prostitutes. Another shopkeeper, in an effort to get my attention, pelted me in the chest with a small rock. Good times.

After escaping the shopping district, which also included airbrushed paintings of sunsets with Pikachu in front of them, we journeyed to the place where we would be leaving for our shore excursion. Rather than pure snorkeling again, we decided to try Snuba, which is just like scuba diving except with the airtank on the surface on a raft and everyone attached to the same one via a long rubber hose. We got a quick lesson from an instructor (who was not amazed by our limited range of Spanish phrases, yet we spouted them all anyway), and then took to the beach. The water here was very clear, and the fish and coral were a lot more colorful. We dove down to a maximum of about 20 feet, and I had to continuously pop my ears in order to equalize the pressure. It was great fun, though, I highly recommend Snuba to everyone, as they have it other places besides Mexico.

Next Time, The Ship: In Which Pete Loses, Wins, then Loses his Money in the Casino