What Were They Smoking When They Thought Up: Motorcycles on Ice

At someplace called the "Family Arena", you can bring your whole family to an event that is sure to please even the pickiest of motocross fans: Motorcyles on Ice (ice...ice...ice...)! In the television ad on tv we see only glimpses of the fun that is had by all. Cyclists skid and crash into walls! Cyclists slide into each other forming a giant pileup! Children and adults alike cheer on the carnage! What could they possibly have been thinking when they combined motocross and hockey into this one huge mass of blood and wreckage? Here's how I envision it...

Family Arena Executive: Attendance to our events is down because of 9/11, what can we do to draw crowds?
Forward-Thinking Young Yes-Man: How about motocross? Midwestern and southern folk love it for some inexplicable reason.
Family Arena Executive: That's a good idea and all, but the only thing people pay to see are the crashes. And the Family Arena is an ice rink, it would cost us too much money to cover up the ice surface with dirt.
Forward-Thinking Young Yes-Man: Then don't cover it. If the motorcyclists have to ride on ice, there is no way they won't crash.
Family Arena Executive: But won't that be dangerous to the drivers, never mind the impressionable young children who will run home and try it themselves?
Forward-Thinking Young Yes-Man: Of course it will, but think of the money we'll make! $$$!

And with that, middle-America saw the birth of a fabulous new sport. Look for it at an arena near you, the weekend after the monthly Gun and Knife Show and two weeks before the Jeff Foxworthy Stand-Up Spectacular.