Review: The Vagina Monologues

With my guy card left back at the CEC, I attended the Vagina Monologues this evening with my girlfriend. No, before you get all riled up she did not force me to go, I was actually kind of curious after reading about it every year and how controversial it was. You can imagine my disappointment, then, when after an hour and a half I was not the least bit offended. One of the monologues was graphically painful, one was frought with cussing, and one was basically ten minutes of moaning and fake orgasms (note to self: girls are masters of deception, this skit proved it), but there was never that sense of uneasiness in the crowd that I expected. During one of the monologues, the crowd even began chanting "cunt! cunt! cunt!" along with the performer. Still no controversy. In fact, the only awkward moment came when the show was over and one solitary girl stood up to give the group a standing ovation, then looked down at her male companion and ordered him to stand up with her. He declined, and she looked rather silly until a minute later when everyone stood up while the cast gave their final bows. The show had its funny moments, the girl with the angry cussing monologue was fantastic, but I still left with a feeling of lacking. Where was the edginess? Where were the religious protesters outside? Where were the immature guys giggling like schoolgirls every time someone said the word "vagina"? Oh well, if past events are any indication there will soon be a bevy of mockingly-created frat posters that will stir up some good old campus controversy...